Category: Me

Addiction

Woke up had my morning coffee with a couple of cigs.

Love sitting on my porch in the morning

During  my early morning workout I realized I have an addictive  personality, just haven’t lumped it all in.

My workout area
My home gym
yessa
4 am workout

I’m addicted to food, cigarettes and impulsive spending with my credit cards especially (like those 150$ wireless buds that I didn’t need.)

Wireless earbuds
Have to return these suckers

All the more I realized a need for change in my life! I’ve been battling those 3 demons separately and somehow I need to battle it as one, ADDICTION.

This is very hard to admit as I’m a strong independent woman. I believe the addiction stems from early on, as a way to push other traumas and feelings out.

This new life is fucking hard work!

I can do it  I will do it I am doing it!

I deserve it

I’M WORTH IT! These are the words I HAVE to keep telling myself. I’m worth having the life I’ve worked hard for and not to sabatoge it.

I have so much on my mind, but I know I can work through it.

Make it a great day!

Smile always let them see you smile 😀 it helps you and helps others!

 

 

Moving forward & Working for it

Smoking has been and is a huge part of my life.

I quit for 3 weeks then smoked a couple  of packs. Stopped for 3 days then bought a couple of packs. See where this is going?

As I write this I’m chewing nicotine gum.  It’s a new day and no cigarettes left.

Speaking of a new day, I had to block my ex last night. He’s an ex for a reason. I’m moving forward!

I need to start doing things differently in my life, so not to keep making the same mistakes like letting old friends (like my ex and shitty cigarettes) creep back in.

Its hard but every day I take a step to move forward…For some reason I sabatoge myself; because I know this, recovery comes sooner than later.

I am a strong woman 💪

I can do it. I will do it. I am doing it!

Make it a grea day! ☀️

 

Update wireless earbuds

they aren’t for me!

I wore them for a minute while cleaning my yard. I must have weird small ears because I’ve tried many and they don’t stay in.

These are a little better but I don’t like the feeling as they block out the outside word (if in right and tight).

So, I need to break my life streak of not returning anything because these were 150.00 and right now the budget is tight. The effort has to be made, back they go.

I will stick to my wireless over the head headphones! They were great while I mowed through the jungle!

On another note now my neighbors won’t kick me out of the neighborhood, lol,  because yard looks so much better. 👍

Just can’t have them over to see my back yard lol . 😩

It is a great feeling to have a mowed lawn free from weeds! I’ve been neglecting my yard every year but the new me isn’t going to let that happen. It’s great exercise and a natural feel good high.

This post is a little longer than the usual because I started this blog thing to help me express my feelings and today I’m doing that.

I’ve been fighting depression my whole life and I go through spurts of getting back on track. This time around I’ve stuck to taking care of myself a lot longer and not staying down when I feel down! 💪 I know I can do it! One day at a time!

Will update when I  return the buds back to Best Buy as that will be a big step for me!

Make it a good day!

Smile. Always smile!

I am doing it!

 

Truly wireless ear buds

150.00 – I don’t return things so hopefully they do the job!
Comes with a charging case
Wireless headphones

ive tried many ear buds including wireless and never found a comfortable pair that actually stood in my ears.

I’m feeling hopeful about the pair I purchased today!

tomorrow will be the true test when I use them to clean my yard for an hour or so.

My early morning

woke up at my regular time, 3:45 am. Jumped right out of bed no snoozing.

Brought lucy, my pup out.

Had my regular coffee with collagen peptides and tumeric

Woke up with neck pain 😩

did 15 min light cardio with 3 sets leg extensions (12 reps)

let Rambo, my ferret out.

Used my microdermabrasion kit for 15 mins on face, neck and hands.

Time to get ready for work.

Make it a great day! ☀️

Smile always smile 😊

Hump day

Well not sure what my problem is. I’m tired so I keep snoozing and not doing my workouts.

I should be working through it, in just a minute of getting out of bed and starting the workout I would be fine. I would be up and doing it! I will do it! I can do it!

Yep.. I have them … here are my excuses.  I was thinking about a situation from earlier. Wah wah it’s not major in the scheme of my life and can’t change the way people think. Move on and focus on YOUR life.

Im tired from my anemia. Wah wah , I’m sure you had the anemia before you were diagnosed. Stop bitching and complaining and making excuses! Forget about it. Just do it! 💪

But, what I find is that I’m starting to get used to snoozing and rolling out of bed an hour later!

Tracey, you can do it! You are a STRONG woman! Fight it, get up and kick ass!

smile always smile! 😊☀️

Lets make it a great day!

MyNetDiary

I’m happy with today’s caloric  intake!

 

Update on goals:

✔️ Counting calories and documenting all foods in my app

✔️Taking iron pill every other day

❌ not reaching 10,000 steps min 3x per week

❌ not working out min 5x per week

❌ (cigarettes) cheated and smoked this past weekend but have been chewing the nicotine gum. I like to torture myself lol I havent smoked in over 3 weeks then I just decided to over this past weeeknd because “I deserve to” “I’m home by myself” “it’s my friend” “I’m lonely”

at least I’m aware of how I sabatouge myself.. it’s the first step. Now working on the next steps. It’s a process, my process.

Smile  always smile!

 

Sunday funday

hahaha

my fun was washing my floors. Luv the smell of fabuloso.

I haven’t cleaned up my jungle outside but plan on doing a little each day. Lots of weeds to pull.

Not odering in today! 👍 that’s huge. Smoking today that .. well.. 👎

but back to my routine tomorrow. That’s what I totally need! And working every single day including the weekend. That will keep me out of some trouble.

Watching  vacation now, the newest movie, funny!!

make it a great day! 😃

Gym

even though I have a home gym I’m looking for an outside gym to go to a couple days of week to get out of this house.

Visited one this morning. It was ok. All I could think of were the sweaty people who’ve used the equipment before me. I’m sure I will get over it.

I’m not making a decision until October- when a new gym opens in the city. It looks promising.

Im looking for early open on the weekends with classes.

On a side note, i HAVENT been keeping my goals. I’ve smoked and ate shit food for the past couple of days.

Back at my routine tomorrow! Depression is hard to beat. Sometimes I struggle but I get right back up!

Smile! Always let them see you smile!

The purple gym.
Treadmill – I worked up a sweat